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Mondays in the Humidor with the Big Cigar

Is there a lede for an article that can truly capture a reader’s attention after a debacle like Saturday? I mean, unless you’re some sort of sadist, of course. After racking my brain for the better of the 12-hour jaunt from Houston to El Paso, I’ve concluded that there isn’t a lede or an article for that matter that is going to satisfy or assuage the majority of our readership or provide any kind of comfort to those who don’t have an agenda for this Texas staff.